The Unseen Here and
Now . . .
Stuart
Revercomb
Stuart
Revercomb is a marketing consultant and joyously married father of four
children. He seems to remember someone once telling him he ought to be
a writer. "The Unseen Here and Now" -- Thursdays.
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"Thursday's Fare"
February 14, 2002
Valentines Day Endured
I've never been a big fan of Valentines Day - probably because there always seemed to be so much more to lose than gain. As a young male, all Valentines Day meant was that you stood a very good chance of getting laughed at. There were several ways this could happen :
A. You give out Valentines to the whole class, (27), even the boys because your Mom made you, and you receive 3 in return.
B. One is from your teacher.
C. You give everyone the dinky little snoopy cards except for the girl with the straight blond hair, whom you give a giant red heart complete with lace that cost you two weeks allowance at the grocery store. Which is fine until she holds it above her head and declares it to be from you.
D. The same girl later informs you that she's not sure her father will let her keep the card and that she thinks you are "cute."
E. Your teacher tells you she mistook your Valentine box for trash and had your arch rival Norman use it to clean out the gerbil cage. You tell her that's O.K. because you only had 2 cards in there anyways. (You threw hers away. Which is probably why she gave Norman your box.)
As one got older, the tradition of Valentines Day became no easier to pull off as a male. If you knew "where you were" with your girlfriend and were dating consistently, things were fairly do-able. You sprung for the 3 roses and the dinner at that place where you took last years prom date, and hoped she didn't order the steak as well. But if you were in-between long term relationships, which for boys of high school age is a duration of about 12 weeks, (give or take 4), then Valentines Day posed some serious dilemmas.
Did the girl you had your eye on even know you existed?
If so, did she care whether your heart was beating at all, much less for her?
Worse yet, did she just want to be friends?
And if this were the case, did that mean she expected a Valentines card anyways?
Invariably you decided "Yes", and wound up going to the Hallmark store in search of the perfect card that said something like, "I value your friendship and think you are really smart." But what you are really looking for is a card that also says in some sort of subtle way that, "I'm really hoping that you will fall helplessly in love with me, not because I am cute, but rather because you think I resemble James Bond and that I am so smooth that the Marlboro man wants my autograph, and all of this will occur to you just before June when your parents are going to Europe for a month and have decided that you are mature enough to stay home alone and that your little brother should stay with his Aunt."
But instead of finding one having anything to do with friendship and intellect, you purchase the one with the picture of the couple walking on the beach that professes your undying love, and the girl never so much as looks at you again.
At least not without laughing.
As a married father of four children, Valentines Day still offers the same potential for disaster. Your wife has been slaving to take care of you and your children, night and day for 38 months without a break and deserves 3 weeks in Bermuda. But all you can afford in both time and money is the same three roses you've been buying forever from Kroger. If she's lucky you might remember a smoltzy card from aisle nine. It's a good thing she made those vows in front of God too.
Your children see Valentines Day as a major holiday and will not understand it if they too are not included on your list in a way at least as memorable as Mom. Which means another couple of flower vases for the girls and enough chocolate for the boys to see them through their first full weekend with no football. Another 20 minutes in aisle nine is also required, and if you're gullible enough, a balloon for each of them as well. By the time you leave you look like some sort of deranged over-infatuated Cupid. Its as embarrassing as ever.
But in the end it's finally worth it.
Because the homemade or "schoolmade" cards dripping with excess dried glue and glitter and upside down letters, presented in front of a beaming face that tells you you're loved like no one else in the world, are worth more than all the money ever wasted on a holiday. And the simple stolen kiss complete with the same smile that greeted you so many years ago as she made those vows, carries you to a place way past Bermuda - and its an eternal sort of place to boot.
Trust me on this, young men who continue to endure... hang in there...
Valentines Day only gets better.