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Stuart Revercomb

Stuart Revercomb is a marketing consultant and joyously married father of four children. He seems to remember someone once telling him he ought to be a writer. "The Unseen Here and Now" -- Thursdays.

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April 19, 2001

The Patience of Mom

STOP !!!!

That's the word that comes out when all my patience is gone. And sometimes it's followed by a few others.

Best not print them here.

If I'm in the presence of my children, which is usually the case when my patience has purchased a one way ticket South, I mumble these ill-founded words to myself. It is often a pretty good imitation of Archie Bunker - a little younger and thinner perhaps, but it's disturbingly close. I shudder to think of the image I'll be casting when my hair turns gray.

Just a couple of weeks short of 40, I have to remember that's really not that far away.

Patience is a strange thing really. You can generally tell when you have it, but its hard to note when its slipping away. Often by the time you realize you've lost what you had, its far too late and the release of ones temper takes place like the swing of a spring loaded hinge slamming home an old screen door.

"SWACK" - flat and sharp, the hard word of anger involuntarily flies.

And no one - no one, is the better for it.

We all have our tolerance levels for different things, but as far as I can tell women are especially gifted in the patience department. And make no mistake about it - this is a gift from God. It has to be - the power to control oneself in the face of what women must contend with in the rearing of small children is not an earthly thing. I know - I have 4 of them. Children that is.

One woman.

It's enough of both. Muslims and Mormons are crazy if you ask me. I don't say this as some Mens Libber either - works both ways. One spouse is simply enough, so don't email me on that.

But you sure can't have the latter without the former as regards women and children, and I'm not just talking physiologically. There might be 1 man in 2000 that can raise small children completely unassisted by those without a Y chromosome, but they're an exception to be sure. Most men I know wouldn't last 6 weeks solo at the helm of my household, and that's probably a pretty generous figure.

Moms on the other hand can get them pretty much form A to Z - and with little help. They may raise their voice on occasion, but all in all they tend to have the "patience of Job." But we'd all do well to remember, even Job had his limit. And when mom reaches hers you better watch out.

If you thought Archie Bunker was as bad as it gets, you never saw one of the 2 scenes when Edith went over the edge. Duck and cover my friend. When mom has lost her patience its like a runaway boiler with a whole lot of coal still in the chute. All that heat has got to go somewhere, and if its in your direction you are in deep, deep trouble.

If you're smart as a child you learn to "read" both your Mom and your Dad as relates to the "patience quotient" and the average percentage in any given circumstance that it is likely to fall. But after the first motherly "loss of patience event", you tend to watch Mom a whole lot closer.

It's one thing to take the occasional incendiary bomb like the Germans in Dresden. Quite another altogether, to be on the receiving end of a thermonuclear exchange. And when Mom was involved there was very little "exchange" to it. If she had gone over the edge, things could only get worse. There was no more horrible feeling than hearing a fellow sibling with whom you had entered into Mom's wrath, bark something back in her direction.

All you could do is utter a tight lipped moan and give him the stare that said, "You sir, were adopted - You are far too stupid to be my brother." And then Mom would let you both have it at twice the lethal dose she was already geared up for.

"Thanks Randy".

The Bible teaches us that God loves us as a parent loves his children and it doesn't take much imagination to extend the relationship model to a point where we must question just how much patience he may or may not have. In theory the world will have its way with us, and God will do his part to make sure we have what we need to get through it, but every now and then you can't help but wonder whether you're on the receiving end of a little "loss of patience".

This was one of the more predominant "faith questions" I had while growing up, and I suppose not a little amount of thought is given to it by the average person. But having somehow completed the course work required for a Religious Studies Major and taken a couple of solid Bible Studies in recent years I have come to the thankful conclusion that God worked all of that out with the Hebrews long ago, and I am relatively safe here in the mature lap of "Modernity".

Except sometimes I'm not so sure....

And its at those moments I hope and I pray that God has the equality in punishment of a Dad, but far, far more importantly - the patience of a Mom.