The Unseen Here and Now . . .

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Stuart Revercomb

Stuart Revercomb is a marketing consultant and joyously married father of four children. He seems to remember someone once telling him he ought to be a writer. "The Unseen Here and Now" -- Thursdays.

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April 26, 2001

Attitude is Everything

Tuesday October 24th must have started out like any other day for Robert Marsteller. He had breakfast with his wife Maralyn and then helped her prepare their 2 children for school before heading out the door with half a bagel balanced atop his coffee mug. Robert had recently left an investment management position at a leading bank in Washington D.C., and he was in the process of discussing some new business opportunities with several people who's opinions he valued. The day would be a full one of meetings and interviews.

His morning and lunch meetings had gone well, and as he walked the familiar sidewalks of downtown Washington the bright fall afternoon added to the promise of new possibilities that his recent career change had brought. The day had an unusually clear quality to it, even for autumn, and everything seemed to be exactly as it should be on such a day. Even the man selling pretzels on the corner appeared to be placed there by a director looking for a quintessential scene in a Hollywood movie. Robert's thoughts drifted to his next meeting as he placed one foot in front of the other towards his destination.

He would never make it.

There was a screeching sound of black rubber on concrete from within a parking garage to his right, and as he turned to see what was happening he was met with the instant and sinking realization that there was no way he could escape the impact of the car now racing towards him. He instinctively jumped as the car neared him to avoid being run over and somehow managed to stretch his arms across the hood as the out of control vehicle picked up speed and careened wildly across the street. He clamored to hold on, but the car struck a UPS delivery truck at a violent angle, and he was slung off hard and sharp into its lower left side. The car continued forward, striking several other vehicles before coming to a stop half a block away.

It all had happened so incredibly quick but also in another sense, so strangely slow. He had never lost consciousness - in fact his mind somehow seemed even more clear than it had been just moments before. He spotted an armored delivery truck across the street and for a moment he thought he had been hit by someone fleeing the scene of a robbery. But the deliberate actions of the men driving the Brinks truck told him otherwise. "We've called 911", they calmly advised him.

"Th-th - thank you", his voice sounded strange and somehow distant. But the sensation of his crumpled body was even more unusual. He realized almost immediately that he didn't feel a thing.

Robert Marsteller was paralyzed from the neck down.

The next several hours were a blur of hospital lights and faces and the rubbery smell of oxygen masks as a Neurotrauma Team worked to restore Robert's C5 vertebrate. They utilized bone stock and titanium to fashion a new one as Robert's had been completely crushed when he struck the UPS truck. It worked well to the degree that it provided stability and structure to the tissue and adjoining bone, but it could never duplicate the original.

Without significant progress in medical technology Robert may never walk again. He has regained the use of his arms but has very limited ability in his hands.

But based on a conversation I had with Robert the other day, his life is far from being over - in fact the way he sees it he, " has a lot to be thankful for". We all do, of course, but perhaps the ironic difference is that by virtue of his accident Robert knows it and "lives it" each and every day.

I asked him about the biggest challenge he has faced since the accident.

It wasn't the numerous operations to repair his spine or the pain and daily grind of physical rehab - nor the countless hours wondering how the immediate needs of his family would be taken care of. It wasn't even the 4 week period during which his liver enzymes skyrocketed causing his body temperature to elevate upwards of 104 degrees or even the time he had to be intubated and revived by a trauma team due to blockage of his airway.

Biggest challenge? Remembering the incredible responsibility HE has for others, and realizing that how he handles his situation can be a "blessing or a burden for everyone who knows him".

"You've got to make the best of what your situation is", he told me, "it's not so much where you end up physically after rehab that is important, as it is where you wind up mentally and spiritually and what you can do for others".

I pondered his words a moment, "You've got to make the best...it's not so much where you end up... as what you can do for others".

You would be hard pressed to find better words to live by.

I tried to imagine my own attitude in the face of such a challenge. Would my outlook be so incredibly brave? I thought a moment and then began to compare it to the one I had carried with me that day. If it was any indication, I had some "gauges to reset" before I reached the place that Robert had found. I tucked the lesson away and continued to listen as he told me how important it was to keep his sense of humor about him.

"I've had to remind several people that my accident could have been much worse", he said, "I'm lucky to still have the same amount of brain damage I had before the accident".

He also told me that some of the nurses didn't seem to understand it when he gave them a sarcastic dissertation on "why the Americans With Disabilities Act was the worst piece of legislation ever passed by Congress".

"They need to lighten up a little bit", he said, "half of them were taking me seriously!"

I also asked him about the biggest blessing he has realized since the accident. He didn't hesitate.

‘The overwhelming support of family and friends", he responded. "I knew I would have friends who would help out, but I had no idea the number - or the extent to which they were prepared to go. Words simply can not describe it ... it has been so far beyond my imagining - the updates that go out every couple of weeks from the group that put together the website now reach over 800 people."

He was silent for a moment.

"I'm a very lucky guy", he said.

Unlucky perhaps, to be walking in the wrong place at the wrong time as the everyday events of the world conspired against him... but the luckiest man you'd ever want to meet when it comes to family and friends who would go to the ends of that same world for him.

And perhaps luckier still to understand so clearly just how "lucky" he his.

Godspeed in your physical recovery Robert - the one you've already made is an inspiration to us all.

** Several friends of Robert Marsteller have put together a web site to assist people wanting to help Robert and his family. There is a schedule of fund raising events as well as an area where people can sign up to do everything from babysit to helping with the groceries. There is also a link to a contributions page. Your consideration and prayers are greatly appreciated .

http://www.robertmarsteller.iohome.net/