The Unseen Here and
Now . . .
Stuart
Revercomb
Stuart
Revercomb is a marketing consultant and joyously married father of four
children. He seems to remember someone once telling him he ought to be
a writer. "The Unseen Here and Now" -- Thursdays.
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"Thursday's Fare"
NOV. 18, 1999
Big Fat Liar
"Cheater! Cheater! Cheater! Cheater! You Are a Cheeeeaater! You Are a Cheeeeaater!"
Children have such wonderful ways of communicating their displeasure with each other. The subtleties with which one informs the other of minor grievances are quite charming, don't you think?
"Liar! No I'm Not! Yes You Are! No I'm Not! Yes You Are. You're a BIG FAT Liar."
Notice the use of size to donate severity of offense -- an easily utilized methodology to escalate the level of accusation being waged, one that carries the more important aspect of leaving little room for interpretation in the ears of ones combatant. When children argue there is little chance that one party will not thoroughly understand the other.
"When I Get home I'm Going To Tell Mom and You Can't Play With My Hot Wheels For A Week!"
"Not In My Room Either."
"I Never Did Like That Game You Made Up Anyway."
"I Just Don't Want To Talk With You Anymore."
"I Take Back That Cookie I Gave You Last Night."
Such an approach has many characteristics that we openly admire and look for in "modern communication." It's direct. It's honest. It communicates clearly and concisely. It hides nothing and boldly exposes the most sincere emotion of those engaged. Don't you wish things worked a little more this way in the "Adult World?" What a breath of fresh air! What an inspiration! What a relief!
Think about it: if only Ken Starr could have employed such an approach. What if, once appointed, Ken and Bill could have been made to stand to-to-toe on national television and worked the matter out in "Kid's Court." No judges, no juries (perhaps Ken's mom could be on hand to separate the two if the thing got really ugly), just the two of them having it out -- honestly, openly and with nothing but their convictions and most basic motivations on display. Think of the possibilities. Not to mention the savings.
"You did it, didn't you, Bill? You ogled that girl and more, right smack dab there in the oval office, didn't you, Bill? Go on admit it. You did it, didn't you, Bill? Didn't You!"
"Did Not!" -- "Did Too!" -- "DID NOT" -- "DID TOO!"
There is a long pause as Bill looks down at his Weejuns. "O.K. ... maybe ... but just a little bit, but not really and I really didn't MEAN too ... I mean it was like kind of an accident you know ... I mean we're really just friends..."
"What do you mean? You either did it or you didn't. You did it Bill, didn't you? I can't believe it. You really did it ... you did -- didn't you!"
"YYYes ... I guess I did. But I'm sorry. And I won't do it again. I promise."
Ken pauses here a moment to ascertain the sincerity of the apology. He squints his eyes and cocks his head ever so slightly. "Promise with a cherry on top?" he asks.
"Yeah, promise with a cherry on top. I'm sorry Ken"
"That's O.K. Bill. I still like you, ya know. I mean this doesn't mean you're not still a good guy. Bill. Dad says we all make mistakes."
"He does? You mean you think I am? Thanks Ken. Uh, Ken you're not going to tell mom, uh, I mean, Hillary about this, are you."
"Well that's up to you Bill, but I gotta tell ya -- you KNOW the words gonna get out on this sooner or later. You might want to think about working this thing out on your end so it doesn't all blow up in the press or anything."
"Yeah, you're probably right. I guess I've made some pretty bad decisions up to now."
"Well, maybe But its not like you lied in front of a federal grand jury or anything. Things will get better. Bill, what do ya say we go have a beer down at the Capital Club. I'm buying."
"That sounds nice, Ken, but I've got some things I better be taking care of at home tonight. Some other time maybe."
"Yeah, sure some other time. Good Luck, I hope you find some peace in all this, Bill."
"Thanks. I'll need it."